Wow, 2018 has really flown by for me. Anyone else?

Looking back, it's hard to take in everything that happened.

• Lisanna turned 5 and Arrow turned 4
• I finished up my 3rd year of teaching and started my 4th
• We hit the 2 year mark of living in Japan
• I turned 27
• I found out I am pregnant and carried this baby for 8.5 months (hoping he comes soon!!)
• Brandon and I celebrated our 7 year wedding anniversary and 10 years together mark

Finding out about this little babe in April really changed a lot. I went from being a traveling mama and instagrammer/blogger to being more stay at home and finding joy in the little things.

I think this has been a really good thing. It's caused me to sit back and examine all the blessings in my life. I've slowed down and become more intentional about the time I spend with my kids and husband. The wanderlust was eating away at me, and as I looked at bloggers traveling the world, I wished to do that more. Instead of focusing on raising my family and growing in my relationship with God, I focused on what I didn't have. Instead of enjoying life in Japan, I had a compulsion to go out often enough to take pictures to share. I was letting social media eat up my joy and make me blind to my blessed life.

I'm ashamed to say, instead of appreciating my amazing family, I felt weighed down and held back by them.


Then, in April, I found out I was pregnant for the third time. And then in June, my first baby turned 5. I remembered being pregnant with her and all of my hopes and dreams for her, and took a good look at the young lady she is becoming. And I realized that I wasn't being fair to her. I had been taking her for granted and despising the little moments and the little days. And I decided to change that. To spend more time really listening to her and playing with her, instead of mindlessly scrolling and looking at deals to get away from it all.


And what I discovered is this amazing, brilliant little girl who makes me so proud. She brings me so much more joy than anything else in my life, and I had been blinded to that by my discontent.

And that discovery changed everything. I'm still walking in that love and joy and thankfulness of being her mom. Today we cuddled on the couch all day, then played whisper phone with stuffed animals. We've been building forts and making bracelets and drawing pictures and playing cards and going on coffee dates - opportunities that are so fun and are slipping away with each passing day.



So for this coming year I have only one resolution - do more of what matters. Spend more time with my baby girl and my husband and my two baby boys and quit spending time on the things that are fleeting, the things that still won't matter when my kids are gone and I'm scratching my head and wondering where the time went.

I need to be intentional about where my time goes so I don't wake up on her 10th or 18th birthday, panicking because of how few years are left.

I am so very excited about this new year with a new baby, but what I need to do most is what I started doing halfway through this year. Be thankful for that which I've had, which isn't completely new but is constantly changing and growing before my very eyes every single day.